"Don’t fuck with spirits" they say.
"Don’t summon things," they say.
"Don’t play with ouija boards" they say.
How is any hard-working necromancer supposed to get anything done around here?
Anonymous said: "Hey cutie patootie what'er you dooin?"
Digging up these lovely easter lilies and disposing of them. Isn’t it obvious? I might leave the holes…
Anonymous said: When you return home, there are Easter lilies planted in front of the house and a note on the door. "Dear Mr. Hart. Your yard needed a little sprucing while you were away. I cut the grass, got rid of the weeds and gave you some flowers. - Mr. Cross (your ginger friend from next door)"
Upset was a mild way of describing Hart’s reaction to his neighbor’s “good works.” He’d left the weeds on purpose, damnit.
AND WHY EASTER LILIES?!
He’d leave the ginger a bouquet of dead men’s thumbs on the doorstep if he didn’t think it’d get him arrested. Nightshade would have to do.
Pro Tip: Instead of having feelings, try being dead inside. Everything is still horrible but you will not care at all.
If I’m gonna be honest here, most summoners and necromancers nowadays just buy demons etc. online in bulk from China and mark them up thricefold for the domestic market.
That’s why you should only buy them from local farmers’ markets and that one creepy old house at the end of the block. You know the one.